Thinking of getting in touch with a friend? Do it.

A friend called this morning to tell me of the death of another friend. Not a close friend but someone I have grown to know over the last four or five years.

He was older than me by some distance but it wasn’t age that killed him. A gentle soul he was. And very much a humanist — in the sense of having no truck with gods and religions. And like all the humanists I know, exceedingly moral.

I hadn’t seen him for a few months. He sent me a text to wish me a happy new year and I have been thinking recently that I should get in touch to see how he is. That’s the way these things go. I know that. I have learned that over the years and I still make that same mistake.

When something suggests you contact someone, the best thing to do is to follow the suggestion.

I shall go to my friend’s memorial service but it won’t mean as much to him as a simple message might have in the last few weeks when he was really sick. I’m not feeling guilty so much as disappointed in myself for once again repeating old behaviours.

I am determined now to reach out to old friends more regularly. To call them or text them. Anything but look at their Facebook feeds. Needless to say, my late friend was not a Facebook user.

And I have contacted quite a few friends today to let them know of the death. Is that ironic or merely sad?